When She Cries
by Kessie-Ciel
Summary: Grissom falls in love... with Lady Heather. FINISHED.
1. Prologue

When She Cries  
By Somewherethatsgreen  
Rating: PG-13  
Spoilers: No major spoilers, but it might not make sense to you if you haven't seen Slaves of Las Vegas.  
Summary: Gil develops a bizarre obsession with the charming Lady Heather. I guess you could call this speculation for "Lady Heather's Box," but it doesn't really have anything to do with that because I was messing around with this idea before news about that episode was made public. Apparently it's not as original as I thought. o_O  
Disclaimers: CSI is the property of Anthony Zuiker, CBS, Touchstone, etc. Songs are the property of their artists/writers. When She Cries was written by Shel Silverstein.  
  
CHAPTER I  
PROLOGUE  
Strange thoughts plagued Gil's mind.  
  
It had been over a month since the case involving a death at a fetish club had been closed. Professionally, he had moved on. But although the details of that case should have been stored away in the distant caverns of his memory like all the others, one thing, one person, stayed with him. That person was Lady Heather.  
  
Thoughts of her remained fresh in his mind. There was something strangely appealing about the mysterious and unusual woman. In a way, he felt connected to her, although he could not explain his emotions with words.  
  
He was secretly hoping to see her again. He wanted to be with her, even if for only a short time. He wanted a chance to figure out just what he felt for her. How ironic it was that he, who devoted his life to solving puzzles, could not decipher his own feelings.  
  
His opportunity came on a hot afternoon as Gil, trying to get some rest before work, was relaxing on his couch. The telephone rang. The voice he heard was soft, musical, and very familiar.  
  
"Mr. Grissom. How are you?"  
  
He was lost for words. This was something he had never expected.  
  
"I'm very well, thank you," he said hesitantly. "And you?"  
  
"You know who I am, don't you?" she asked, sounding a little amused.  
  
"Yes. I remember you."  
  
"I was sure you would."  
  
He was beginning to recover from his initial surprise. "What can I do for you?"  
  
"I was wondering if you would like to come for tea on Sunday."  
  
That was a second shock for Gil. For a moment, he hesitated. What would his co-workers think? Of course, it was not their business, was it? They would not have to know. There was nothing wrong with accepting her offer now that the case was finished. It would, in fact, be the polite thing to do. He had a deeper need, as well; he now wanted more than ever to see her.  
  
"I would love to, Lady Heather."  
  
"Thank you, Mr. Grissom," she said warmly. "And you can call me Heather."  
  
"And you can call me Gil," he replied.  
  
"Very well, Gil. You can come around two, if that's all right."  
  
"That's just fine with me," said Gil.  
  
"I'll see you on Sunday, then," she said. "Goodbye."  
  
Gil said goodbye to Heather and hung up the phone, her voice still echoing in his ears. He sat there for a long time, thinking. Something was happening within him. Something was changing, and it was going to take some time to figure out what it meant. 


	2. The First Visit

When She Cries  
  
CHAPTER 2  
The First Visit  
  
"You have a date with a dominatrix?"  
  
Catherine's eyes widened as Gil told her about his plans with Lady Heather.  
  
"No date. I'm just going for tea."  
  
"Right," she responded, amused. "No date. Just a cup of tea and a little bondage."  
  
Greg poked his head out of his lab. "Bondage? Where?"  
  
Gil gave Catherine a look that warned her to be quiet.  
  
"Nothing, Greg," said Catherine, and he disappeared back into the lab.  
  
"I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell people about this, Catherine," said Gil.  
  
"You can count on me," she said with a grin.  
  
Sunday came at last. As Gil pulled into the driveway of Lady Heather's mansion, he felt an excitement unlike anything he had ever felt before. He approached the door and rang the doorbell, and he could hear soft footsteps from inside the house. She opened the door for him, and he saw her face for the first time since the investigation. She looked more serene now, with the unpleasant events behind her. She smiled a kind, welcoming smile, and invited him in.  
  
"I thought we'd go out to the garden," she said, leading him through her living room, filled with velvet furniture and gothic decorations, and to the back door. She had already laid out the delicate china cups and teapot. Steam wafted from the spout of the pot, and the aroma of he tea was like a calming incense.  
  
"Have a seat." He obeyed the invitation as though it were a command. Lady Heather remained standing and poured the tea. She looked amazing; her raven hair was glossy in the sunlight, and her sleeveless gown of dark plum panne velvet contrasted with her pale skin. The neck was low-cut, but not immodest, and around her neck she wore a simple black beaded choker.  
  
She slid into her chair. He watched her, unsure of what to say, waiting on her to give him a cue. She locked eyes with him, and he, being accustomed to intense eye contact, did not look away.  
  
"You've been on my mind," she said calmly. "It's one of those things. There are people that we should remember, but forget in an instant, and then there are those who we could just as well forget, but we remember. Do you understand?"  
  
"Perfectly," said Gil, for he was experiencing exactly what Lady Heather was talking about.  
  
"When I called you," she went on, "you recognized my voice. Is just that because you have a way with remembering these things?"  
  
"Not entirely," he confessed. "I do remember little things like that, but that isn't how I knew you."  
  
"Then you've been thinking of me?" she asked, pleased.  
  
"I have," he said.  
  
She smiled, and suddenly she began to laugh. Gil was confused and feared he had done something wrong, but her laughter was so bright that it made him smile along with her.  
  
"I'm sorry," she explained. "But listen to us! We sound like two characters in a second-rate romance novel."  
  
Gil had to agree. "I guess we do," he said with a laugh.  
  
"Let me begin again," said Lady Heather. "I invited you here because we got along so well the last time we saw each other. You treated me in a way that few people have; with completely unbiased respect. That's a rare quality."  
  
"It's my job."  
  
"I know. But my experience with the law has been that most people who supposedly aren't prejudiced are just trying to come off that way. They all seem to think that since I have such a taboo occupation, I must be guilty of something. But not you. You have the ability to regard people without prejudice. That's why I trust you."  
  
"Thank you," he said, for lack of anything more eloquent to say.  
  
"So, let me ask, do you trust me?" He looked into her eyes again, and they were warm and sincere.  
  
"I trust you," he said, though as soon as the words had come out, he became quite worried about where they would lead. He was, after all, dealing with a dominatrix.  
  
For the moment, however, she was content to place her soft hand over his. He remained completely still, allowing it to lay there undisturbed.  
  
"I think we're going to be good friends, don't you Gil?" she asked. He nodded slowly. He believed they would.  
  
Lady Heather slowly pulled her hand away and picked up her tea cup. For another hour they made small talk, as though their brief moment of intimacy had never happened. Gil, however, absorbed little of the conversation. All he could think of was the warmth that he had felt when she had touched him.  
  
END OF CHAPTER  
  
Note: I hope this isn't too melodramatic for y'all… I'm trying to keep it in character. Right after Gil's "I trust you" line, I thought about writing "He was, after all, dealing with a dominatrix, and he had never looked good in latex" but I decided against it. o_O BTW, the story is already written, it's just a matter of typing and uploading. 


	3. Fantasies and Fears

When She Cries  
Chapter 3 - Fantasies and Fears  
  
---------------------  
No one knows my Lady when she's lonely.  
No one sees the fantasies and fears my Lady hides.  
There are those who've shared her love and laughter  
But no one hears my Lady when she cries, but me.  
No one hears my Lady when she cries.  
---------------------  
  
Gil left Lady Heather's house on that Sunday afternoon without the feeling of fulfillment he had hoped to find there. What he felt as he drove away was the same longing he had felt before.  
  
He attempted to make sense of it, but he could not find a rational explanation for his attraction to Lady Heather. It made no sense at all; they were so different. The very concept of a relationship between them was laughable.  
  
Concentration on his work was becoming more difficult for Gil. His usual sharp attentiveness was disrupted by moments of distraction as thoughts of Lady Heather took over his mind. He would let them linger briefly until he remembered where he was, and then he would shake them off and try to get his mind back on what he was doing. The change in Gil did not go unnoticed.  
  
"Is something wrong?" asked Catherine on Wednesday night. "You seem kind of out of it."  
  
"I'm perfectly fine," he assured her.  
  
"Well you haven't been acting fine. You've been like this since Monday." She paused. Looking at her face, Gil could see that she had made a connection. Catherine, of course, did not voice her suspicions directly.  
  
"How did your date go on Sunday?"  
  
The first time Catherine had called it a date, Gil had corrected her. Now he let it slide. "Just fine," he said. "In fact, she invited me back this Saturday."  
  
"Glad to hear it went well," said Catherine. It was clear to Gil that she was concerned, which irritated him slightly. It was, after all, his personal life, and none of her concern. However, he did not want to discuss the matter any further, and he was somewhat relieved when Catherine left.  
  
On Sunday morning, as Gil tried to get some sleep after a long night of work, he had a dream. The world around him was black. From some point off in the distance came a white glow. There was a shadowy figure standing in the center. He moved toward the light, and he could make out the figure standing within it. It was Lady Heather. She was wearing the dark plum dress she had worn when he last saw her, and her crimson lips formed a serene smile.  
  
He reached out his hand, but a cold barrier, like an invisible pane of glass, held it back. He wanted to touch her. He could not. But she lifted her hand and held it out, so close to his that he could feel its warmth. And that was enough…  
  
It vanished in an instant, and Gil found himself back in his bed, with daylight creeping in from behind the closed curtains.  
  
"What's the matter with you?" he thought. "This is completely wrong. People like you don't have dreams like that."  
  
He dismissed the vision. He assured himself that it was only a dream, and nothing more. But it had been so vivid. He had actually felt her hand next to his, though the warmth had disappeared along with the rest of the dream. Still, he refused to accept it as anything more than a random string of subconscious images. He attempted to put it out of his mind, and eventually he managed to go back to sleep.  
  
Under the glare of the afternoon sun, Gil once again approached the door of Lady Heather's mansion. He rang the doorbell, and when she opened the door, he immediately became concerned.  
  
Her face was reddened and streaked with tears. It was obvious that she had been crying. She smiled, trying to hide her distress, but it was no use.  
  
"Heather, what's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing really," she said, her voice trembling. "Please come in."  
  
Gil followed her to the living room. "I haven't started the tea yet. I didn't expect you this early."  
  
Gil was much less concerned with the tea than he was with Lady Heather's current emotional state. "Is there anything you want to talk about?"  
  
Lady Heather sat down on the red velvet sofa. She curled into a fetal position, her knees against her chest, her black skirt draped loosely over her slender legs.  
  
"I have these moments sometimes," she explained. Gil sat on the sofa next to her and placed a hand on her shoulder.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I mean… sometimes I just cry. It usually happens when I have a lot of stress in my life. But sometimes, it just happens for no reason at all. I wake up in the morning with a feeling of sadness, and I just can't shake it. I don't really understand why."  
  
"Have you seen anyone about it?" asked Gil.  
  
"You mean doctors? Oh, yes. Ever since I was a teenager. They all wanted me to take pills. But the drugs made me ill, so I stopped taking them. I went into counseling. That helped. I'm all right now, except for days like this." She dried her eyes with her sleeve. "They don't happen as often as they used to."  
  
He moved his hand from her back and lay his arm around her shoulder. He placed his other hand on her arm and slowly slid it down until his fingers rested upon hers. She allowed him to take her in his arms, laying her head upon his chest. For a moment, Lady Heather was not strong. She was injured, vulnerable. For a moment, she placed every ounce of her trust in him.  
  
"I'm glad you're here, Gil," she said. After that, neither spoke. Gil leaned against the velvet cushion and closed his eyes, feeling the weight of her body against his, and fell into the most peaceful sleep he had had in a long time.  
  
---------------------  
And when she cries, she makes you want to run  
  
And chase the stars and bring them back  
  
To brighten up a corner of her dark and troubled skies  
  
When she cries.  
--------------------- 


	4. The Vision

When She Cries  
Chapter 4 - The Vision  
  
Gil was awakened unpleasantly by the ringing of the cell phone in his back pocket. He answered it, still somewhat asleep, and was greeted by the angry voice of Catherine.  
  
"Grissom, what the hell? You were supposed to be here by six. Where are you?"  
  
Gil looked around the room until he spotted a grandfather clock. It was almost six thirty.  
  
"God, Catherine, I'm really sorry. I just got tied up."  
  
"Literally, Gil?" Catherine snapped.  
  
"Very funny."  
  
"I'm not laughing, Grissom. Get your ass down here."  
  
"I'm on my way."  
  
"Good!" Catherine hung up without saying goodbye.  
  
"I'm sorry if I got you into any trouble," said Lady Heather, as Gil hurried out.  
  
"It's not your fault," he said. "I'll talk to you later." He stopped just long enough to embrace her, before reluctantly letting go and running out the door.  
  
"I don't know what's gotten into you," said Catherine, as Gil walked with her to the lab to get some DNA results. "It's not like you to be late for work."  
  
"There's a first time for everything, Catherine," Gil said with a shrug. Catherine gave him a look of annoyance.  
  
"Since when have you been so flippant about missing work? If I were a half hour late, you'd crucify me."  
  
Gil stopped walking and stared at Catherine, trying to think of something to say in response to her that would not make him look like a hypocrite. Unable to think of anything, he let her continue.  
  
"Does this have anything to do with Lady Heather?" she asked.  
  
"Just leave her out of this, Catherine."  
  
"It's her, isn't it? She's the reason you haven't been focused lately. Why? Why is she affecting you like this?"  
  
Gil felt himself being cornered, and he attempted to avoid Catherine's questions. "My personal life is none of your business."  
  
"I'm asking because I care about you. Something's happening to you, Gil. I mean, I've seen you in love before, but I've never seen you like this."  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about," Gil insisted. He knew his lies would do no good, but they were easier than the truth.  
  
Catherine sighed, frustrated, though not defeated. "Listen, Gil, you and I both know how much commitment this job requires. I can't stop you from seeing Lady Heather, but let me just warn you, don't get in over your head. Don't let her take you away from your work."  
  
"That's not going to happen," he said. Without another word, he walked away, and Catherine soon followed behind him in silence. He was angry at Catherine, not because of what she had said to him, but because he was afraid that she may be right.  
  
Another dream came to him as he slept a few nights later. This time, instead of being dark, the world was ablaze. Again, Lady Heather was there, but instead of being separated, they were together. She was with him, laying against him as she had that afternoon. She lovingly gazed into his eyes, and he heard her whisper, "I'm glad you're here, Gil."  
  
"I love you," he responded.  
  
Before him, amidst the flames, he could see the CSI headquarters. Inside were his co-workers, Catherine, Sara, Greg… the lab, his office, his spiders and beetles, everything he saw every day. All of it was being consumed by the flames. Everything disappeared, until all he could see was Catherine, standing in the orange glare. He slowly began to fall. He reached for her, but just like he had been held back from Lady Heather in his first dream, he was held back from Catherine by the invisible barrier.  
  
"You chose," said Catherine. "Goodbye, Gil."  
  
"No," he murmured aloud, waking from the dream. He lay wide awake, staring at the ceiling. What had happened?  
  
Slowly, he began to put the pieces together. He loved Lady Heather, but it was clear that he was not meant to be with her. He felt an intense jealousy toward people who were able to balance love with responsibility. He had never had that talent. He could not handle the two at once. He had always known that he could not, but he loved her so much, he wished he could.  
  
Lady Heather, Gil realized, was like every woman he had ever loved. She, like all the others, would have to leave him and find someone who could be with her when she needed him. She needed someone who could be beside her always. Someone to hold her when she cried. Gil knew that he could not be that person. Not without giving up his whole world. He had to choose.  
  
The choice itself was not difficult. What was painful for him was having to make it in the first place. He would have to tell her soon. He resolved to call her in the morning and arrange another visit. As much as he knew it would hurt, he had to let her go. 


	5. Saying Goodbye

Author's Note: I changed the tune for this chapter… literally… the song quoted at the end is "For a Moment of Forever" written by Kris Kristofferson, though I'm partial to KT Oslin's version myself.  
  
When She Cries  
Chapter 5 - Saying Goodbye  
  
Feeling sick and wishing that he were anywhere else, Gil walked slowly into Lady Heather's mansion. He was drawn to the living room by the sound of an old record playing slow, romantic violin music. The furniture was pushed against the walls, leaving a large empty space.  
  
Lady Heather stood with her back to him, adjusting the cover on the victrola that stood in the corner of the room. She turned as he came in. On this day, she was wearing a sleeveless crimson velvet ball gown, the bodice of which was laced up like a corset. Her arms were partially covered by black satin gloves that came past her elbows. Around her neck glimmered a short silver chain that held a teardrop-shaped pendant of black onyx. She looked like a queen.  
  
"I got a little dressed up today," she said. "I knew you wouldn't mind. You appreciate beautiful things, don't you?"  
  
Gil felt his resistance being chipped away. "I do," he responded. Lady Heather had guessed that about him when they first met, and she had not forgotten it.  
  
She did not give him the chance to say any more. "Dance with me," she demanded, taking his hand.  
  
It had been so long since Gil had danced. He let her lead him, gently swaying with the music, their hands clasped together. He wanted it to last forever, but he knew it could not. He knew the song had to end.  
  
Slowly, Lady Heather removed her hands from his and wrapped them around the back of his neck. Before he realized what he was doing, he let his arms fold around her. He knew what was to come, and he knew he should stop her, but he wanted it so much.  
  
He let her kiss him. It was the sort of kiss that should only bring passion and joy, but to Gil it brought sorrow, as he knew that it was to be the only one.  
  
She pulled away as the record stopped. She went to the victrola and began removing the record. "Now," he told himself. "You need to do it now, or you may never be able to."  
  
"Heather…"  
  
She turned to look at him. When their eyes met, he lost himself. There was something in her eyes that made him forget every word that he had planned to say. It did not matter. She saw through him.  
  
"I'm sorry," she said. "I was too bold. Please forgive me."  
  
"It's not…" he reached out a hand, but he changed his mind and brought it back. It was easier if he did not touch her. "It's not your fault. I care for you more than I've ever cared for anyone, but I can't be with you."  
  
For the first time, Lady Heather looked completely speechless. The hurt was plain on her face, and Gil was sorry that he had been the one who caused it.  
  
"You need to understand. I just can't do this right now. I can't be committed to you and my career at the same time. I'm sorry. It's just how I am."  
  
"I understand," said Lady Heather, her eyes glistening with tears. "You're not to blame. You can't help it."  
  
"I wish I could," he said. "Some people have trouble with one commitment. It amazes me how others can handle two and still give enough attention to each one. I wish I could have that ability."  
  
Through her tears, Lady Heather forced a smile. "Maybe someday you will." She looked away from him. "I'm sorry if I was a burden," she said.  
  
Gil placed his hands on her shoulders. "Heather, look at me." When he could look into her eyes again, he said, "You were never a burden. That day, when you were lying in my arms… that was the most incredible moment of my life."  
  
"I'm glad," she said, "because it was the most incredible moment of my life as well."  
  
After that, there was nothing more that needed to be said. Gil was sure that she was thinking the same thing he was; how wonderful it could have been. Maybe one day it would be. But not today.  
  
"I should go," he said. She nodded understandingly.  
  
Gil walked out of Lady Heather's mansion and into the cruel Nevada heat. Never before had he felt so alone.  
  
---------------------  
Was it wonderful for you?  
Was it holy as it was for me?  
Did you feel the hand of destiny  
That was guiding us together?   
  
You were young enough to dream  
I was old enough to learn something new  
I'm so glad I got to dance with you  
For a moment of forever.  
  
Sometimes when you're crying, you're happy  
Sometimes you're just crying, I know, I know   
  
Come whatever happens now  
Ain't it nice to know that dreams still come true  
I'm so glad that I was close to you  
For a moment of forever.  
--------------------- 


	6. Send Me Back My Lady When She Cries

When She Cries  
Chapter 6 - Send Me Back My Lady When She Cries  
  
---------------------  
She walks barefoot through the misty morning  
Dreams of golden yesterdays reflecting in her eyes.  
But soon the evening shadows crowd around her  
Frightening my Lady till she cries, for me  
Frightening my Lady till she cries.  
  
You may have seen her lying in your lamplight  
And if you've heard her whispered words, it comes as no surprise  
So be the one she shares her secret smiles with  
But send me back my Lady when she cries, for me  
My Lady's gonna need me when she cries.  
--------------------------  
  
After walking away from Lady Heather, Gil entered a state of intense loneliness that lasted for over a week. His work was actually a comfort to him during that time, as it provided a distraction from the pain. Slowly, he climbed out of the depression, and his life returned to normal, though he did not stop thinking about Lady Heather. He missed her, but he was afraid to contact her. Being without her was painful, but he feared that seeing her, when he knew he could not have her, would be worse.  
  
Though he tried to keep her out of his thoughts, he was unable to avoid her when, almost a month after they ended their relationship, she called him at home. He was surprised to hear from her, and his heart began to pound when he heard her voice.  
  
"Hello, Gil," she said timidly. Her voice quavered as she spoke. Something was wrong.  
  
"Heather," he gasped. Despite his reluctance to speak to her, Gil was pleased to hear from Lady Heather. His happiness, however, was overshadowed by his concern for her. "Are you all right?"  
  
"I'm all right," she said, though not very convincingly. It was clear to Gil that Lady Heather was not all right, but she was trying to appear strong. "I just… I'm sorry to bother you."  
  
"It's no trouble, really."  
  
"I just wanted to talk. If you're not busy, that is. I've been feeling a little down lately, and… Well, I really wanted to hear your voice." She spoke so calmly, but she could not hide her sadness. Gil made a quick decision.  
  
"Do you want me to come over?"  
  
"You don't need to do that," she insisted.  
  
"It's okay," he said. "I want to."  
  
"Gil…" she protested, but he had already made up his mind.  
  
"I want to," he repeated. "Please."  
  
He heard her sigh. "Okay," she said. "I'll see you soon, then. Thank you."  
  
"Thank you," he replied. He wasn't sure how much comfort he could be to her, but he was dying to see her again, even if it meant opening himself up to new pain.  
  
The sight of Lady Heather's mansion was familiar and welcoming to Gil. When he entered, he felt as though he belonged there. He called her name, and heard her voice from the living room.  
  
"In here," she called back to him. He followed the voice, and he found her waiting there for him. Her eyes were red and her hair and clothes were in disarray. She was clearly upset.  
  
"Heather, what's wrong?"  
  
"You didn't have to come," she said.  
  
"I told you. I wanted to do it." He took her hand and led her to the sofa. "Sit down," he said. "Talk to me."  
  
"I'm glad you came," she said. "These past few days have been pretty rough."  
  
"Any particular reason?"  
  
"Difficult clients, stubborn employees, fights with my daughter. The usual things."  
  
Gil put his arm around her shoulder and drew her closer to him. "We all have days like that."  
  
"But that's not all. For a long time I've just felt so… I don't know. Empty. Then I woke up this morning, and I just felt this incredible urge to talk to you."  
  
"I understand," he said, and he did understand. He had felt that way many times since their last visit. He took her hand, and she closed her fingers around his.  
  
"I feel so much better just having you here," she said. A tear escaped from her eye. She breathed deeply, trying not to start crying again.  
  
"It's okay to cry, Heather," he said softly. "Cry all you want. I'll stay right here and hold you."  
  
He felt the weight of her head on his chest. He remembered the last time they had been like this. He glanced at the clock. He did not have to go to work for another four hours. There was plenty of time.  
  
For a while, they sat there together, neither saying anything, as Lady Heather cried. Slowly, her sobs turned to soft weeping, and finally, the tears ceased.  
  
When she could speak again, all she said was, "I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't apologize," said Gil. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I was wrong."  
  
Everything seemed so clear now. He had been so worried about not being able to give Lady Heather what she needed. But what she needed, he realized, was nothing that he could not provide for her. All that she needed was someone to spend time with her, to talk with her, to dance with her, and above all else, to hold her. And he could be that.  
  
He wanted to thank her, but he could not find the right words. He wanted to thank her for showing him how wrong he had been, and for helping him to face his fears. He had been so afraid of truly giving his heart to a woman for the first time. Lady Heather had helped him to overcome that fear. He had been afraid that he would not have room in his life or his heart for her, but now he knew that he did.  
  
He was still learning. True love was a strange new sensation to him, and it would take time to get used to it. But he knew he could handle it. He could be there for Lady Heather, to love her, to protect her, and to hold her.  
  
To hold her when she cried.  
  
---------------------  
Send me back my Lady when she cries, for me  
My Lady's gonna need me when she cries.  
---------------------  
  
~~Le Fin.~~  
  
Well, that's the end. Did you like it? BTW, in case you were wondering, yes, Lady Heather DOES have a daughter. She mentions her while talking to Catherine in Slaves of Las Vegas. I just thought I'd point it out in case it seemed kind of random to anybody. 


End file.
